Embrace the Night

Just played your game! Keep in mind the rules of the jam - if you want to use VTM IP per Dark Pack, the only way to do that for a video game is either to obtain an official license through regular means, or finish the game in the duration of the jam. Just noting - you won't be able to continue working on the project, unless not using VTM IP, beyond the jam's limitations.

I've talked to both characters and nothing happened beyond that, the conversations looped and happened again - but the idea of a vampire bar bartender game is interesting! 

As you asked what could this 3D novel make it the best as it can be: 
The same things that make great 2D visual novels or novels in general: excellent writing or/and an exciting story. That is in my opionen the most important thing. Visuals are the second. If it looks nice and supports the story with their asthetics it is perfect.  This demo of yours has till now few of both. Also if you do use 3D, it woud be nice to use the full potential of it. Free movement and/or fitting animations. Maybe like a exploration game. Moving around a room, get hints, talk there with people. I think you can learn from detective games like the sherlock holmes games or other adventure games.
If you don't use 3D movement or 3D anmation then you don't need 3D to tell a story.

I downloaded the zip file, but it gives me an error when I try to unzip or open it.